It’s just more of that he said she said bullshit
You said you care, you said you’d be there.
But what about this and how about that
It’s just more of that he said she said bullshit

It is either you, sometimes it’s me. But one of us is just itching to flee.

Well if that were, all it were, then that’d be fine. Its like okay, novelty value has definitely worn thin and its time for somewhere else to be.

But, as I’ve mentioned before, people are strange.

The sixth sign of insanity is an abnormal reaction to a normal event.

For example, the Mafioso taking the news of an informant poorly.

While it would be easy to get into that whole he said she said bullshit, I will spare you the torture.

Long story short – one of my prior posts has caused a bit of a stir – and I have been threatened with legal action under some random sections of the privacy act.

This is of course ridiculous.

Think not of this as the end.

For as Semisonic once sung ‘every new beginning starts with some other beginnings end’.

Jim Morrison, The Doors, once sung People are Strange. “People are strange. When you’re a stranger, in a strange town.”

I’m strange and Auckland is a strange town. You’re probably odd too. But the depths of strangeness never ceases to amaze me. Or does it intrigue me. Maybe it scares me. I’m not sure.

Why am I weird? Well, I like to be spanked. My riding crop is my favourite bedroom toy. The tip can sing or sting. A brass knob on the handle is a great clitoral stimulator and the leather bound grip has other obvious advantages. People think my fedora hat is out of order, but I find it good for keeping my head warm in winter and shaded in summer. I prefer to ride a Vespa than buy a crappy car, and I like to have sex with strangers for cash. Not because I have no other career options, but because I get off on it. Hey and who couldn’t use a few extra coins during a recession. So I guess these things and numerous other idiosyncratic traits make me strange.

But my headdress, sex toys and Italian stallion are nothing compared to the fetishes and fantasies encountered almost hourly lately.

A friend of mine and I were talking about bondage and discipline. That led to him telling me how he’d like to be treated like a horse. Like led around with a harness and groomed. I hope that’s not the natural evolution of my riding crop fetish. I could see how a saddle could be fun. Maybe some spurs… I digress.

Anyway, this was more information than I wanted, but I gave him the number of a friend who can help out.

Another guy I met recently likes to be beaten. I mean really beaten. Black eyes, broken ribs, and a ruptured sternum is his idea of a great date. He has paid a few femme friends of mine quite well to kick the crap out of him. He likes it. If you’re at all interested check out Mark ‘Beat This Man’ at www.clips4sale.com.

Someone else I see regularly recently found God. No one told me he was missing.

My opinion of religions that promote a mythical higher power who will sit in judgement of all of us is ridiculous. You might as well believe in Santa.

But each to their own. So long as your activities do not impede or disadvantage others, then live and let live says I. Actually some one far more famous than me coined that phrase but you catch my drift.

Instead of hiding our quirks and pretending we’re all rightous. Let’s all come out and celebrate our strange selves. After all what is normal?

Judge not, lest ye be judged. Because we’re all odd.

Ends @ 507 Words

1.petals on the pillow
2.champagne chilling in the washbasin
3.sign the mirror with lipstick
4.a poem on the fridge
5.chocolates in drawers draw
6.a card with a coin inviting a call
7.a pint of chilled water on the night stand
8.appropriate incense burning
9.jewellery
10.cash
11.slip out the window
12.with a hangover
13.naked
14.on fire
15.bruised, broke & broken
16.The name, address and directions to the nearest Sexual Health Clinic
17.knickers with a note
18.With an erection
19.With an infection
20.With a pending inspection
21.Bleeding
22.Breathing
23.Barking mad
24.Spontaneously
25.Dangerously
26.Forever
27.Together (think about it)
28.In bad weather
29.In jail
30.Infirm
31.full of sperm
32.Eating the worm
33.During second term
34.On their birthday
35.On Valentines day
36.At Christmas
37.At your engagement party
38.At your wedding
39.Smiling
40.With your number
41.With some one else’s number
42.With the number to Lifeline
43.With the number to dial a prayer
44.With a friends number they’d like too
45.Without any reason
46.For carnal treason
47.for rhyme or reason
48.’Cause ’tis the season
49.because you’re bored
50.Because he snored
51.In a Ford
52.Because you’re flawed
53.after a morning massage
54.on the run and living it large
55.on a barge
56.in a carriage
57.under a barrage
58.through the garage
59.in a cage
60.in a rage
61.with a book
62.or just one page
63.From centre stage
64.during a play
65.on a sunny day
66.because I is gay
67.Or swing both way
68.Needing to pray
69.breakfast on a tray
70.with flowers
71.after hours
72.due to lack of showers
73.because of external influence and powers
74.Because Sean Connery is sexier than her
75.with a hangover cure
76.leap from a moving vehicle
77.Dirty
78.with a mate you rate
79.at the bottom of a cliff
80.at a concert
81.during a movie
82.to die for your country
83.to die for someone else’s country
84.to die for the highest bidder
85.to tour Europe with an all girl rock band
86.To search for a cure to ugly
87.go to Hamilton
88.To teach banjo to hillbillies
89.With Polaroids of her and your friends the drunken and debauched night preceding
90.With a report card grading the evenings entertainment
91.With a reference
92.with a child
93.because you were wild
94.because they are mild
95.they’re not you’re type
96.they wouldn’t buy your hype
97.they think that you’re shite
98.she wasn’t that tight
99.just due to spite
100.because of a fight
101.it just wasn’t right

Blog

By Apauling

26 December 2007

There’s something apt about giving birth to this blog on Boxing Day. Don’t ask me what it is. I don’t know yet. But read along and maybe we’ll find out together.

Someone of note, maybe a school teacher or someone of their ilk, once told me all about Boxing Day. If I remember correct, it’s was the day apprentices of around the turn of the century, industrial era and all that, visited all their Master’s customers with their begging box. Payday for an entire year’s work.

Those boys must have had the best budgeting skills. My monthly pay seems to last barely a day. At the time, however, it wasn’t a crime. A forty-hour work week was still a fantasy and most employers provided medical and board and life’s basics. By today’s standards it seems like a raw deal. For the time, it was the norm. As was the norm were slaves in their day. Or should I say in that day. For there are still those enslaved today, devoid of time to play. I digress.

Lets look at the slaves of the Roman days, because they’re probably what most of us think of when we think of slaves. Now Hollywood, with all her wisdom, tells us that slaves of old were poorly treated, overworked and flogged for the smallest of sins. Archaeologists and historians however paint a very different picture. Slaves of Roman days and slaves we recall working in the American cotton fields, were, on the whole, fairly well treated. Probably better treated and remunerated than many of their modern day counterparts.

That’s a bold statement I hear you moan. Well lets look at it rationally. Slaves of Roman days, and these things we know, worked a fairly standard sort of work day – more often than not sun up ’til sundown. They we’re remunerated. The best paid slaves were Gladiators. Noble men in were known to sell themselves into slavery for a fixed term, to repay debt. Okay, granted, the mortality rate was high. But 30 was the average life expectancy anyway. At 35 you’d be considered an old man. The entire Roman army were pretty much enslaved. Slaves enjoyed time off, and the Coliseum provided free entertainment by decree of the Emperor or Caesar. By the standards of the day Roman slaves enjoyed equal access to medical, entertainment and even a certain influence on Democracy as inherited from the Greeks. The Greeks who gave modern civilisation so much. Art, Olympics, anal sex.

Is the modern man any better of than yesterday’s slave? Have we shaken of our shackles and proletariat prejudice? Or is our freedom and liberty merely another name for nothing left to lose? Slaves were looked after in the same way a farmer looks after his livestock. I’ve met farmers and they genuinely care about the wellbeing of their animals. Most of them. Hell, don’t we all want to know our food’s well prepared?

Today’s slaves however aren’t cared about. We don’t even notice them anymore, yet they are everywhere and growing in number. We don’t see them. We’ve solved the unnerving problem of having second class citizens by making them invisible. We deny today’s slaves access to life’s essentials, then say “Yeah, in Saudi Arabia, Qatar and third world nations.

Isn’t it nice to know we live in an egalitarian country where everyone cares about everyone else and no one has to worry about their next meal because we’re so damned lucky to live in a beautiful country where we share the wealth and resources equally and fairly? Yeah right.

It’s not just the third world and super wealthy countries exploiting and ignoring the weak, disenfranchised vulnerable and tired.

We’re doing it right here. Slaves are everywhere. He’s the bus driver earning $15ph and can’t pay his electricity. She’s the trade qualified hair-stylist at the top of her game, with a community services card, she’s old and can’t afford heating, he’s young and can’t avoid a beating.

In a nutshell, in my long winded ever whining way, I’m worried about our working poor.

Unemployment in this country is at it’s lowest. Most of the formerly unemployed are either on other benefits, sickness seems to be popular and easy to get, or employed by freelance labour companies run and owned by WINZ.

When I was labouring for a builder while studying I earned $14ph, under the table, digging holes and lugging lumber. I hate manual labour, as Im sure many in the profession do, yet I believe some are sweating for a living of less than $10ph gross. Gross. How is a man suppose to support a family in Otago let alone Auckland on that kind of cash.

By lunch time during my first day of labouring, eating yeast on toast held by blistered hands, it dawned on me that the hardest working people earn the least. Barely enough to cover life’s basics, let alone buy Sky, pay for a digital phone or any other toy televised as a must have item. And it would seem society gangs up on you. Everyones telling me I must have this or they’ve just bought that and it’s all of that. Wank, wank wank. An MP3 player was my lastest must have, and yes it’s great, but I still prefer Vinyl. Any audiophile daring a duel is welcome to call. My turntable VS your MP3s – a fight to the deaf.

Every year there’s another and another and another thing to add to the wish list. MP3s are better than CDs which are better then Tapes which are better than Vinyl. Okay so that’s not exactly their argument but it illustrates my point.

Now I feel somehow disadvantaged because I don’t have a 42” plazma. I have TV envy. I won’t be entirely happy until I have a really expensive duvet cover with pillows to match. My suits aren’t expensive enough anymore. I’m a slave to my image and that which I want it to be. What does it take to be free of me?

We’re no better than slaves and we’ve sold ourselves into the slavery of consumption. We’re a must have society, and we must have it now. But how do we break free. How do we be the we we wanna be.

The basics of life include warmth and shelter, food, clean water and oxygen and possibly wine. It’s my list, you can make your own. With the exception of these readily available resources, everything else in life is optional. I could, hypothetically, live in a DOC Hutt in the Uruweras, eating trout, wild pork and venison, grow my own veggies order wine online and live quite happily. There’s even a certain appeal. But everything other than the necessities of life are optional.

Lets make it our choice to be free.

We do what we love because we love what we do. I do it for me and I do it for you. We follow our hearts and we map our own charts. Thats how we be free. Thats how I be me.

Aroha
Six