I sit and wonder a lot about life and love. Recently I find myself asking (due to the forever ongoing sex saga in my life) whether it is possible to love someone deeply yet not be attracted to them physically?

While I am told by my significant other that this is not the case. That he does find me attractive I have to wonder if this is true. Another possibility for the problem. If this is the case how do I find out? How come for the first time in 4 years I am tending to disbelieve him?

I hit an all new low today and something I’m not proud of. I opened his laptop and snooped today. For the first time ever I’m checking up on him. Why for an answer I guess. I guess what I don’t understand is if everything he is telling me is the truth then why isn’t he just going for it and seeing if something happens. You see when I talk to him I get a feeling that there’s something he’s holding back. What I have no clue. Do I have any proof to have these feelings no. He has never lied to me before (well that I have found him out on). God all I keep thinking is if I am starting to snoop then maybe it is the beginning of the end?

Ok so they turned up in a brown paper envelope with the word “toy” written on it. Waiting as long as I have I ripped open the envelope and was amazed at how big they were! I thought quietly to myself, maybe there was a size guide on the page I didn’t see and they just sent me XL. Went to Wild Secrets website and nope, this is the one and only size! I put them on the shelf and every time I walked past them thought “surely not, no way are they going to fit!” I was sure the only way they would was if I was really turned on so, with the help of my partner, I tried them.

For such big balls they did fit! For the next few hours I walked around with the Duo Balls in. Every movement I made the inner balls moved and I felt the sensation. I was very aware that every time they moved I would tense my vaginal muscles…giving me an intense pleasurable feeling.

I will say here I kept asking my partner if he could hear the noise when the balls moved as I was a little paranoid considering the noise they made out of the packet. He said he couldn’t. Once I was convinced I started to become more comfortable with them and really started to enjoy the feeling of the balls moving around inside me. I was certainly getting very turned on!

These balls will not only give you thrills as you wear them but will also strengthen your vaginal muscles which will enable you to have bigger and better orgasms. I do like this product. I enjoy the feeling of being turned on and so I can’t wait to go out to dinner on the weekend and try them out in public!

Sex Toy Review by: Nikki
Country: New Plymouth, NZ
My Profile: KiwiPulse

Joy and I went to see Jack Hanson perform at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, California one night in 2001. Something exciting happened on this night, and it was not a planned act of stage illusion.

The Magic Castle is a Victorian mansion and private club that houses the Academy of Magical Arts, where top notch stage magicians and illusionists perform. The mansion has three stories and a basement, with almost every inch of it is either decorated with memorabilia, or rigged to amuse and amaze club members and their guests. There are portrait paintings with eyes that follow you, a telephone booth where a skeleton appears in the glass, a table where your drinks revolve, and a piano played by a fake ghost named Irma.
The point about the Magic Castle is, the place is geared toward creating illusion, which is why I was so surprised by what happened to me after dinner.
Joy, Jack and I had dinner at the Magic Castle before Jack’s show. Jack had arranged for us to get VIP seating, which meant we needed to be in front of the Parlor stage door at a certain time. Since it was a good idea to use the restroom facilities beforehand, we timed ourselves with that in mind. Jack had already left to prepare for his show, when Joy and I left the dining room. The ladies restroom was at the bottom of the staircase on the same floor as the Parlor. Joy and I entered the small ladies room, which was only big enough for two stalls and two side-by-side sinks. There was no room for furniture, and only one narrow door in and out. The walls and stalls were covered with a collage of old time magazine ads. When we entered the ladies room and saw that both stalls were empty, we went in each to her own. Joy left first and said she would be right outside. I replied that I was right behind her. I heard Joy leave.
Moments after Joy left, I exited the stall and made a left turn for the sink to wash my hands. That’s when I nearly collided with a beautiful woman. I hadn’t heard her enter. She smiled, said hello and I realized at once that I was standing in a Magic Castle ladies room smiling at Sharon Stone. Really. The Sharon Stone."I love your dress,” she said. All I can remember stammering was, “Thank you.”
I opened the ladies room door to leave. Joy quickly approached me, pulled me over by the photograph of Houdini on the wall, and said with some excitement “Did you see who that was? Your favorite actress in the entire world!”
I smiled and said, “I sure did. If I wasn’t a woman…” I let it hang in midair as we both laughed at the irony of the situation. I have loved Sharon Stone for decades and when I finally get to meet her, I am also a woman. What a life!

Post by: Kathryn Cleve
Country: United States
My Blog: Longing to be a Woman

I feel particularly miserable and detached tonight, more so than most nights. I have questions that when I search for answers I’m either searching in the wrong place or asking the wrong person.
Things of late haven’t been that great and me being a Scorpio this tends to shut me up for some time not wanting to allow anyone in or let anyone see that I might not be possibly dealing with things all that well. Need for secrecy can be isolating. The need to share can be agonizing. The internal struggle of both is frustrating.
The need for understanding eludes me and not getting my own way frustrates me. I won’t say I have always gotten my own way but it would be bloody close. If I didn’t get what I wanted the first time I would try different ways till I had what I wanted and then got bored. The Scorpio motto might be “What is hidden is more interesting than what is obvious.” In this situation I’m not getting what I want and I’m not getting any understanding as to why it is so hard.
I have been with my older man for 4 years now. In all ways our relationship is perfect except for this one problem! I read somewhere that even if the rest of the relationship is perfect and there is one problem that can’t be solved or you feel isn’t being resolved it will consume the rest of the relationship. I have never heard a truer word spoken.
Scorpios again are very passionate people and most people that have had relationships with scorpions know their sex life is very intense and very active. This is very true of most relationships I have had and I have enjoyed my sex life and all the things I have experienced to date. However I have hit a brick wall. I am experiencing just sex once every 4 months (if I’m lucky). Has the relationship always been like this? Yes it has. Has it always been a problem? Yes it has. Why is it a problem? Because I want way more. Why am I not getting way more? I don’t know. He doesn’t know. We don’t know. The more we talk about it the further away we feel from each other. The longer it keeps happening the worse I feel about myself and the situation. Why am I blogging something so personal? Because here I am nobody you know. Here you are nobody I know. It doesn’t make it any easier to share but the need to share is strong and being the person I am I have to have everyone around me believe I am in control and this perfect outward life I have is real or the basis of it is.
My self confidence is through the floor. I can’t remember the last time I felt sexy. It is pilling into other areas of my life and I am slowly but surely beginning to resent my partner for the lack of interest in sex. All the obvious questions have been asked. No attraction, Angry with me, to stressed etc etc. All to No of course not. Hence the need for some understanding. Something to hold on to. All the normal reactions to this have been played out. Him being defensive, me blaming myself, me still blaming myself, him wanting to ignore the issue, me wanting to talk about the issue. All is done and dusted and no change. No understanding. Nothing to hang on to.
I have never been an unfaithful person. But the idea has struck a cord or two in the last few months when it has all become a bit too much. Why am I still here? In my understanding and capacity to love I love him. I don’t want to leave I have invested a lot in this and so has he. How do I deal with this? Again I have no understanding therefore I have no answers. How do I go on? Until it is no longer bearable and something finally cracks. What will that be? Who knows? What was the point to this? Again who knows I just needed to blurt it out.

Sitting at airport waiting for the plane that has my man on to arrive even on a Wednesday the Airport is busy with a whole different range of people with different lifestyles.

I find my mind wondering to blackspots reply to my men and money post about the personal price being to high for him and wondering whether it is the same for most?

There’s a lady sitting in front of me with what I would assume is her son since he called her mum. She’s crying they just called his plane she’s hugs him tells him to be safe and he looks down at her, smiles and says he’ll be home soon and promises to stay safe. He’s on his way to army training she tells me as she apologizes for the scene.

She waits for him to board the plane then silent her tears fall and when he’s boarded she turns to me again and says I begged him not to enlist with the way the worlds going he’s bound to have to go to war one day.

She says goodbye to me and I sit silently thanking god I don’t have to deal with that. The plane leaves and I find myself praying to god knows who that he will be able to carry out his promise and come home safe!

Really puts my shit into prospective that’s for sure. How dare I be unhappy about my life at any point I do have it very easy. I look up and see my man walking through the doors and think thank god I only have this to deal with!

What is it with men and money? I know you have to have money in order to live I get that, but why is it so important to have more than you need? I may be generalizing here a little bit and to tell you the truth I wonder if it is just the older male that has this problem. My man is 53 yrs old and obsessed with money and making our lives so we need and want for nothing. This is great im not saying it isn’t and his work ethic is next to none I have known. But for me other things come before money. Family is one and being together is another. I think I have the old idea of relationships where at the end of the day you come home and be together. Eating dinner at the table and everyone talking about their day is important to me. It allows me to know what everyone’s been up to and where their heads are at and gives everyone a chance to know that what they are going through can be shared and halved just by voicing it. It instils in the children that communication is important. That after the kids are in beds its turn off the TV and spend time together just the two of you. I think that today’s world is just so fast paced that if you don’t get this time you could easily lose yourself and your relationship in the daily grind. So what does that have to do with men and money it’s coming…

The man in my life is a Fitter/Welder and he works all over the world. Although he is employed out of a workshop in New Plymouth. He has the choice to work in the workshop and make as much as we need to live on a week and come home at the end of the day and be with his family. Or he can work anywhere in the world and be gone from anything up to 5 weeks and be home for 2 and earn 4 times what we need to live on a week and not get taxed NZ taxes on it. His choice is to work overseas and earn way more than we need. It means he’s more often than not, not here on important days such as birthdays sometimes he is not here for Christmas and he hasn’t been here ever on my birthday in the whole time we have been together. I will admit I didn’t sign on for this when we got together and didn’t even know he could do this sort of thing till about 6 months into our relationship when the chance to go and work in Lahir came up and he really wanted to go. He did say he wouldn’t go but who am I to stop him going and then live with the chance he would blame me later. It’s good money I could make in 5 weeks what I would make in 12 months here. It’s a great once in a lifetime opportunity. It won’t even last a year and imagine what we could do with that money buy a house and some new furniture blah blah.

Needless to say it has been Lahir, South Africa, Aussie, at the moment it’s England with 4 weeks there and 2 home. It’s always a case of the money and how great it will be and we will not want for anything. Apart from being together and sharing our day-to-day life! Why is it that money is much more important to men than women? Or maybe the question really is not so generalized and is why does money mean more to him than me?