I sit and wonder a lot about life and love. Recently I find myself asking (due to the forever ongoing sex saga in my life) whether it is possible to love someone deeply yet not be attracted to them physically?

While I am told by my significant other that this is not the case. That he does find me attractive I have to wonder if this is true. Another possibility for the problem. If this is the case how do I find out? How come for the first time in 4 years I am tending to disbelieve him?

I hit an all new low today and something I’m not proud of. I opened his laptop and snooped today. For the first time ever I’m checking up on him. Why for an answer I guess. I guess what I don’t understand is if everything he is telling me is the truth then why isn’t he just going for it and seeing if something happens. You see when I talk to him I get a feeling that there’s something he’s holding back. What I have no clue. Do I have any proof to have these feelings no. He has never lied to me before (well that I have found him out on). God all I keep thinking is if I am starting to snoop then maybe it is the beginning of the end?