What do I want from a Hooker, Part One?

Sex? companionship? dating agency? thrill of the naughtiness? Education?

Reading various forums and blogs over the last few months have lead me to question why is it and what do I want from a visit to a hooker? What do I expect from her and what do I think she expects from me?

I am coming up on my three year anniversary of my first visit to a parlour, Bianca was her name a beautiful young blonde Brazilian, probably of German descent. Gorgeous, I was so nervous that all that could be managed was a massage and a game of play with the limp noodle and then the hour was up, no happy ending. I had been naked with and touched a beautiful woman again, small steps. Was I satisfied? No. Was I disappointed, not really. The situation was foreign to me and I knew I could do better when I got my head around the situation. I was now addressing the problem, great!

How did I end up in a parlour?
I have been with the same lady, my one and only girlfriend, partner really, for about 15 years, we are best friends we know each other intimately, we holiday with each other, we are comfortable with each other, we know when to push and have mostly learnt when to back off. Five years ago I moved to a city in the other island for work. A modest success from a financial point of view and probably important for my self development, even though I am an independent person I had never lived alone before the move. I have effectively lived the life of a single man ever since while retaining a long distance relationship. For a variety of reasons and with fault evenly attributed we haven’t had sex for at least seven years, maybe not even this millennium. We’ve been to Venice, Paris, Rome, Florence and many other fantastic places in the world, but I had never made love outside my own house, good grief that drives me mad. I know I am far more passionate and romantic than that, someone just needs to help me find the key to unlock it. If this sounds familiar to anyone, for goodness sake communicate with your partner. The lack of sex was beginning to play on my mind, affecting my judgement, my self confidence and occupying far too much time in my consciousness, while I wrestled with my thoughts and morals about paying for sex, my relationship and my own place in humanity. I was becoming increasing unpleasant and unproductive at work and knew if I didn’t do something soon I would be without a job. And possibly loose my best friend as well anyway.

What Do I Want?
So where am I now 3 years 16 girls (I can remember each of them, not all the faces or dates, just feelings good and bad. They all have a place in my memory) and 27 hours of sex later? What is it that I am looking for?

I have come to the conclusion I don’t get off on paying for sex, don’t get me wrong I have no objection to paying what the girl is worth and I am grateful for the opportunity in most cases, it just isn’t the driver for me. In fact it detracts, I need to believe the girl wants to be with me, it’s a trust thing I guess. I have Scottish ancestry, we don’t really like paying for anything, but we are renowned for paying for quality when its needed. I have had terrible sex, no communication or enthusiasm, with girls that should never have been in a parlour in the first place. Those encounters have led me to question what I do the most and whether I should continue. I have also had great sex with girls that I know I could never relate to outside the parlour. They shared their bodies with enthusiasm and honesty. Many of the girls if the circumstances were different I am sure I could have become friends with, and two of them I am certain had circumstances been different we could have had a very special relationship. They shared their thoughts maybe even their dreams as well as their bodies. They were close to my age and intellect.

I am not into kinky sex, hell I would be lucky to have logged a 100 hours in the saddle, I am still a novice, I have no idea what kinky sex is. Too be honest I am too scared to ask in case I offend the girl. My preference is for a girlfriend experience. I like kissing, it doesn’t have to be deep kissing. Nibbling all over, I love mutual oral. Pleasure and be pleasured! Have you seen the look of ecstasy in your partners face? No? neither have I but I am working on it! Well maybe I have seen enough glimpses to keep me encouraged.

I am not the most communicative guy and with a new girl I guess I can seem aloof and maybe even disinterested. It must make it very difficult for the girl to provide the seemingly genuine girlfriend experience that I crave. But a handful have succeeded and I will be forever grateful to them for it. I guess at some level I feel that if I have to pay for sex then I am not worthy of the women I am with, perhaps it has nothing to do with the money, perhaps I just think I am unworthy? Theres a thought. I find it hard for me to find release. I could pump away for an hour or two if the girl could handle it and that is not boasting , it’s a curse, I get to the point where I feel the girl has had enough my mind goes off to the wrong place and while remaining capable, no happy ending again. I mean what working girl wants to be used for the whole hour or two; it would depreciate her asset for at least the rest of the evening I would expect! It is hard to get off when you can only think that she wishes you would just hurry the @#%& up. The best times I have spent with a girl are the fifteen minutes of quiet post coital embrace and conversation. I can relax and enjoy the moment; it has been a completely successful visit. Those moments are the ones that make me come back. They are probably the moments when the girl can see me at my most natural.

For those of you not familiar with Escorts Forum and Pimp the Punter, the links should be over there on the right of your screen I think. I am intrigued by Pimp the Punter. The relationship dynamic would be so different, she would have demonstrated a genuine interest in me, I would be in control, and it would be up to me to make the date work, a role I have never played. It could be a big step on the road to enlightenment and satisfaction.

That’s enough words for today. I will come back soon with part 2, What do I expect from her and what do I think she expects from me?

Thanks for reading. Writing this is helping me sort out things in my own head. If I have said anything you agree or strongly disagree with, you can find me over there (to the right) on Escorts Forum. NCC1701 is my user name, join in on a thread or message me I would be glad to hear your views. Or simply leave your comments below, I would appreciate it