I was asked yesterday by a friend wether I was satisfied with my life. This friend makes me think! Not about world issues or where I stand on topics etc but about my life what direction it is taking and wether im just settling as is easier to do than being true to myself! Sometimes I love this friend other times I just wish the friendship wasn’t so deep for lack of a better term.

Im the first to admit I don’t have all the answers to my life or to others lives but I try to be true to myself and the people around me. However yesterdays question throw me a little and my answer was no one is truly satisfied with his or her life and hoped I would get off lightly and the conversation would end there. I did and the conversation stopped there, only because she knew the conversation would haunt me and I would still be thinking about it long after she left!

On the surface I can quite honestly say I am satisfied with my life. Digging a little deeper however the answer would change. I don’t think that anyone is truly happy with all aspects of their life and I don’t think that would change no matter how much time you devoted to this subject. As humans change and adapt to their life at that time and that means that you will always find things you wish you could change. Ok here I am trying to justify to myself that I need not to look and change things I am unhappy with. I guess that this is a personal quest I have going on that has lasted as long as I can remember!

Sometimes I sit and think that im being rather selfish mainly because we have a good life and need or want for nothing! I don’t know of a lot of people who have the luxury of being able to stay home with the kids and still have a good lifestyle. Who have a partner that treats them with respect and loving most of the time. Who’s kids while they have their problems are close their parents. And on the outside looking in we are a “typically sane” family who have direction and financial stability to make things we want happen. And so many of my friends think me lucky. As do I. I certainly don’t take these things for granted and thank whatever “higher being” is out there for what we have.

But having money and the ability to make things happen for the better doesn’t necessarily make for a happy person unless of course you measure yourself on these things, which I do not (not saying that it is wrong to do so). Certainly I am not one to judge another human being.

I am what I consider a normal human being and want for the same things that others want and most of the time the need for intimacy eludes me. I’m not saying just sex here or though I think a much deeper sex life helps. I am more meaning the feelings of closeness, safety, trust and transparency. For intimacy to be sustainable and nourishing it also requires trust, transparency and rituals of connection. You have to know yourself and your inner self in order to share your self with another. Knowing yourself makes it possible to stand for yourself in an intimate relationship without taking over or losing yourself to the other. I think this is the journey I have to undertake in order to be satisified with my life at this present moment. Ah whatever interesting times!

Post by: Nikki
Country: New Plymouth, NZ
My Profile: KiwiPulse

Re. Wanted: Sex Toy Reviewers.

We found our bloke fairly quickly, he’s based in Wellington and a character. Im looking forward to his up-coming “adventures". Ladies, I had no real enquiry for weeks then 3 at once. The “Sex Toy Reviewer” position has been offered to Nikki because a) she is happy to have her picture attached to her reviews which I believe helps readers relate and b) because she has contributed to the Blog lately which I appreciate. So, welcome to you both! They are choosing their toys as we speak!

I am currently digging through my memories.
Trying to find bits and pieces that are hidden in some dark corners.

Like, when did I start flirting?
I love to flirt and I started early.

I was 6, the boy as well, met that guy later when I was 22, tried it once, was a slight disaster. That is the earliest I remember.

Flirted ever since, even when not realizing it.

But I never really had a good, healthy relationship to Sex or my body.

And that’s another can of worms I try to find and open in those nifty, tweaked corners of my brain.

I had a crush on my Cousin with 13, he was 16. We kissed and got wild, a bit, but no Sex (thank goodness).
I kissed a lot of guys, but waited with “real” Sex until I was close to 18.
Nothing great to talk about.
I guess I always loved to drive the guys nuts, make them want more and don’t give it to them. Nice game.

I always choose the wrong guys to date, have Sex with and have relationships with. I tried to stay away from the ones that could get me in serious trouble, hence marrying me or whatnot. At least I tried a couple of “long term” relationships when I turned 24. Didn’t work.

Until I met my husband. I guess, he’s the right Mix of adventure and Security for me.
He loves to flirt too, btw.

Does this post have a point?
No, I guess not.

But if you read it, you might as well talk to me
Tell me, when did you start to flirt & have Sex?

Post by: NicoleB
Country: Kuwait
My Blog: NicoleB Photography

It says we can share thoughts and stuff here and this really got to me tonight. I thought I would bring it here and have a vent as from my understanding people here are very opened minded. I replied to a discussion tonight on a network that was debating sex, abortion, religion, and homosexuality. ME being me I had to have my say as I just cant help myself.
I have no problem with sex, abortion and religion and no one else had a problem with what I posted both until it came down to homosexuality and I was the first to admit I was Bi – Sexual. I got hammered saying that I was only telling people so I could celebrate publicly my sexual preference oh my god try and be honest with some people and it goes pear shaped! Should I hide who I am? Well even if I should Im so not I am a normal person and because I “swing both ways” doesn’t mean I should be ashamed of who I am or how I live my life! It is the same all over the world isn’t it? No matter wether you are short or tall, fat or thin, black, white or purple people will always judge you on their own fears. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy a healthy debate as much as the next person (hence why I had to have my say) and I can appreciate another’s point of you it is after all that’s how the world works! But when total strangers talk on a subject they know nothing about and don’t even know me is so annoying! Their petty hang ups just show how narrow minded they could be.

Post by: Nikki
Country: New Plymouth, NZ
My Profile: KiwiPulse

The saying “Better to be an olds man’s darling than a young man’s slave” has its merits but damn sometimes you wonder!

Thinking of having a relationship with an older man (21 yrs older) was what i thought a no brainer! Ah maybe I wont have to deal with normal s**t that comes along with a young man.
Example: emotional baggage - surely there wouldn’t be I mean hell half the life is done you would think that they would have dealt and moved on by then! Ah no not all actually there’s way more than a younger man has!
Example: If they have children they would be well and truly out on their own and not a problem for you! Ah no wrong again! It’s actually worse. They are jealous and childish! They are always asking for money and always complaining about something or rather more about you being their age than anything else! And have Grandchildren…which means you get the nana jokes!
Example: the sex would be way better. So wrong it’s so not funny!!!! More years should mean more experience NOPE it just means they are stuck in their favourite positions and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it! And try opening him up to new places and get the horrified look of sex is in the bedroom and no where else thank you very much nothing else need be said cos I wont hear it!
Example: Well trained in all things domestic. Wrong again! The women’s place is in the kitchen handcuffed to the stove and if you manage to escape the handcuffs and don’t have a meal in your hands well expect to get your hand slapped and be put back into the handcuffs and no we wont use them in the bedroom afterwards or anywhere else thank you very much!

Honestly maybe the idea of an older man appeals at first but when it comes down to the cold light of day some things are not great and trying to get them to bend to your way of thinking is harder than you may think. “Can’t teach an old dogs new tricks!”
Although having said that at least they have a good job and aren’t starting out on minimum wage (shopping) and hey sometimes when I look around I get treated better being an “old mans darling” than some of my friends who are “young mans slaves”

Post by: Nikki
Country: New Plymouth, NZ
My Profile: KiwiPulse

We are looking for 2 x Sex toy reviewers, one male, one female. Once a month you will test then give an honest, thorough, written report on one sex toy from Wild Secrets Online Shop. You choose the toy you want to review and I get it delivered to you. After your review is posted on our Collective Blog you will be paid $25 NZD and get to keep the toy (or you could auction it off to someone really kinky ). “Official Sex Toy Reviewer” is a highly prestigious position! Applications must include a sample review, perhaps of one of your current toys, and should be emailed to our selection committee for consideration. Please also indicate whether you will be happy for a photo of yourself to be included on your review and provide a link to your website. If successful, you will also need to:

• Be based in New Zealand or Australia.
• Provide a NZ bank account or paypal details.
• Have a reliable delivery address.

Other Perks:

• Your own category on Collective Blog.
• A link to your website on your review posts.
• An official “Sex Toy Reviewer” badge for your website or profile.

Please email the above requested information to the Office. Applications close when two, as mentioned, one male and one female, have been offered the position. Please ask any questions you have in the comments. Its going to be fun!

Update 28 Jan: We have our reviewers! Thanks people.