un•so•lic•it•ed
adj. Not looked for or requested; unsought: an unsolicited manuscript; unsolicited opinions.

I’ve had a roller coaster week! Dramas. Some awesome news. Dramas. Way too much thinking. One point that has been highlighted is the sharing of unsolicited information. As the years go on for me in this business I grow increasingly peevish about it.

pee⋅vish
–adjective
1. cross, querulous, or fretful, as from vexation or discontent: a peevish youngster.
2. showing annoyance, irritation, or bad mood: a peevish reply; a peevish frown.
3. perverse or obstinate.
Synonyms:
1. petulant, irritable, snappish.

It’s no great secret that I’m pretty “out” but most aren’t. Unfortunately, this means they have secrets! Everyone has goddam secrets! Big ones. And if you know their secrets you are responsible for keeping them safe. As someone who really doesn’t have secrets, I don’t require reciprocation. I do not place this expectation / burden on anyone. Yet other peoples are placed on me daily.

I understand why.

I certainly feel honoured that I am trusted with this.

But. As the information I carry grows I increasingly feel the need to “control” what I’m presented with. To control, and make very clear, what I’m willing to take responsibilty for. A conversation recently went something like:

Sally: “Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know”
Response: *full, detailed low down on everything that happened*
Sally: “What part of “I don’t want to know” did you think I didn’t mean!?”

This is unsolicited information. Information I have not agreed to care for, yet, I am likely still expected to. A big one for me is real names. I do not want real names in my head! Fine to know them (generally) but I don’t want them used around me. Anyone wanting to come into the industry will usually introduced themselves by their real name. Once a working name has been decided this is who they become to me, even in our private emails. I do explain why.

It’s too easy to trip up. It gets too confusing! I live in a permanent state of paranoid fear that I’ve inadvertently made a public (or otherwise) reference to someone using their private information. Particularly when you know someone well, as equally their real name vs alias, the line becomes very blurred. So far I haven’t slipped up but, this is purely because I work very hard not to and frankly, I’m getting sick of the pressure.

Unsolicited information can see you in the firing line just because “you know it". Whether you wished to know this or not becomes completely irrelevant.

Unsolicited information can see you involved in things you would far rather have stayed out of. Unfortunately, now you know, you do need to do something. Head in the sand does serve some purposes!

In saying all of this, I do not apply anything a client would share with me to unsolicited category. I appreciate their honesty and sharing of themselves. Inviting them to contact me constitutes my agreement. I AGREE to carry his/her secrets. I have no issue with them, no resentment of them, no desire to minimise them.

Yes, it has been a drama week and I’m feeling particularly sensitive. But, people MUST take responsibility for what they share. People MUST consider the position they inadvertently place others in with their revelations. The point that I have no secrets* does add a particular dimension to my stance.

*I thought I’d done a post on secrets but I can’t find it if I have. Coming soon if not.

Rebecca Adams, Learned it all from Chuck…

A 22yo Uni student and Escort in Auckland. I love b-grade action movies, converse allstars and fruity nik-naks. Seeking adult flannelette onesy pyjamas. Being passionate about people I am studying toward a career in social work or child psychotherapy.

Our newest (and scorching hot) Escort Blogger. She’s off to a flying start! Awesome.
Good to have you here Rebecca .

Went through my old Gallery Archives this morning and thought I’d throw this in. Hasn’t seen the light of day in sometime. This was back when I worked at Greenlane (taken in one of their rooms), nearly 4 years ago. My 20’s is a sadly distant memory!

Anyway, Auckland. Dates as above. I am taking bookings / deposits now (Kiwibank).

No special information for this trip. Usual Incalls to my hotel and Outcalls to yours. Will come to your home if my taxi fares are covered and you can convince me you’re kocher. Deposits are required and theres very little chance we’ll get to meet if you wait until I’m there before getting in touch.

Heh, this is cool. We recently launched a new board on EF called Perks for Posters, intended as a little something extra for our Members who actually contribute. Only Members who are active on the Forum can view it. I’ve offered myself as the first “Perk".

Because I’m Perky.

Joking. No, because…well, why not? I appreciate our contributors and quite like the idea of spending time with someone who has won it. Wouldn’t that be nice? The competition, which I’m not going into details on because that’s for them to know, will take 3 weeks. Probably not long enough but plans to be in Auckland around the 9th mean the pressure is on. Queenstown Guy is coming.

Obviously running a competition with onesself as the prize can set onesself up for ultimate humiliation. WHAT IF NO ONE ENTERS!? type questions have certainly crossed my mind. Suddenly it becomes common knowledge that I can’t even give myself away! Fortunately I can fake a thick skin . Will keep you posted!

There is only 1 week left!

Brand new, Sexworkers.co.nz will be launching on 21st June!

Create an Escort Profile with Sexworkers.co.nz on or before they launch on 21st June 09, and get a chance to win one of 4 FREE WEBSITES they’re giving away! Winners will be voted on “best profile” so do a good job of it! The administration is happy to help with any questions. Snooze you lose. It’s going to be a great site. Sign Up here .

I’m thrilled. Can we again have faith in justice or does the fact that this has taken so long…