Another debate often connected to discussions related to my intensity addiction is one around monogamy. It started with a very dear friend I met through the industry, some years later she terminated the friendship as a result of changes in her life & my sometimes caustic humour reserved for those I care about (the shock of that situation has curbed the worst of my twisted humour) and has been long running debate with others around a phrase we agreed on which is “monogamy sucks”

So few understand what is really meant. The few I know who understand my perspective and share most of the opinions have helped develop the thought yet it is a hard one to openly live.

What do I mean ? Firstly it’s not about what is commonly called an open relationship nor is it about random sex. It’s about the reality for more than care to openly admit that we find it impossible to fulfil all of our intellectual, emotional, physical & sexual needs with one person till death us do part. What few understand is that despite this we seek & will commit to one person who will be the one we choose to share our life, I refer to this as the constant I seek in my life.

Again, many see it as an excuse for sexual adventures and fulfilment of the carnal urges yet in my situation a number of those I spend my time with in intense yet short encounters are either entirely or predominantly non-sexual in nature.

Yes, there is a sexual thread to it ranging from the delightfully casual sharing of pleasure between good friends through exploring sensations & adventures to deeply intense mutual gratification of the sensual & sexual entanglement of two deeply committed people who are as committed when they are apart & with others as when they are together.

So many see it as weak & indulgent, to me it takes far more intellectual & emotional maturity to share and balance your life with more than one person than closing our souls & minds to the world & trying to find all of our needs in one person.

Have I even come close to finding what I seek - hell no but I do have a few good friends with whom I share conversation, companionship, support & when it suits both great sex (and sometimes OK sex that isn’t an issue given the mutual understanding of each other). The Virgo & Monkey aspects of my life encapsulate the lifelong search for “the one” but it is a search balanced with the reality that we will both share our lives with others.

Not happy that I’m expressing myself clearly - will post this one as is & come back to it …