Well the excuses are being stripped away and certainly emotionally I’ve been emerging from the (not so) safe place I’ve been hiding in for the past few months.

So far it has been small steps. Warm feelings from a truly special friend staying a few days while she was in Auckland, finding that I’m well adjusted to the warm glow of sharing a bed with her with the brief sexual flirtation of last year behind us yet fondly remembered. Still one of the cutest butts I’ve had the privilege of observing in close quarter though

Interested to observe myself dealing with daughter during that stay - she handled it well and we had one of our better nights together the last night before friend headed home. I was happy to take the flack from other friends as to why I felt it necessary to explain to daughter that said friend was staying, would be sleeping with me and that we don’t touch let alone have sex (yes, I did omit the fact that we have briefly enjoyed good sex in the past). My way of containing a long running issue, I feel no guilt and it worked for all concerned.

Another developing friend I’ve met from another forum has predicted that I’ll go a little wild once I have my life back to myself - maybe I will but sorry that person, it will be kept private (maybe)

More a matter of being free to be true to myself rather than my self imposed focus on the needs & feelings of others rather than myself.

There are some I’ve neglected contact with, hopefully they will be receptive to renewed contact, maybe there are new adventures awaiting a monkey with a hunger for fun, new playmates, the lifelong hunt for the ones who will be with me for the remainder of the journey.

I feel myself becoming more open & direct, more focussed on what works & what doesn’t. More willing to open up my life with a couple of exceptions.

So, 11 more sleeps & I’m out of excuses and the voyage will resume.